Kamui no Naruto
by Rigbutter96
Summary: In a far away land lived a guy who did a thing for a person. This is his story, his rise and fall, as well as- "Hey, this is my story, dude! Not some serious stuff! Read to see what happens next!"
1. Chapter 1

AN: Here it is, the long awaited story that I've been working on. It didn't reach my goal of 9-10 thousand words, RBt hey, it is still one of the longest starts of any story.

And be forewarned, I wrote this while listening to Na Na Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance, so yeah, that is gonna happen.

(Chapter 1- Welcome to the Show)

It was windy, with a lot of dust blowing in the breeze. The image of Honnouji Academy comes into view as a large dust cloud is seen going towards the infamous school. As we get closer, the image begins to become clearer, yet the figure is still shrouded in an unnatural shadow that prevents his features from being seen clearly.

The figure was riding a regular motorcycle that, in all honesty, couldn't handle being driven in the desert like area surrounding the Academy, kicking up a crap ton of dust. It was affectionately named by our mysterious rider...

BLACK MAMBA!

The figure is startled momentarily as he sees giant letters spell out the name of his bike in the sky, causing it to lose control of the motorized vehicle and send the figure sprawling across the desert.

"Son of a bitch!" The figure cried, revealing it to be a male in his late teens from the deep tone of voice, as he sat up from his previous position of laying on the ground. "Where did those giant ass letters come from?!"

It was a serious question, and one he intended to find out as he stood and dusted himself off, finding himself conveniently at the bridge to the school/city/thing. His eye twitched as he glared at nothing. "I just know that me falling off of Black Mamba was a plot device, wasn't it? Really? The Author couldn't have let me just walk into this place peacefully?! Is that how our relationship is gonna start off?! Do I at least get an introduction?!"

His rant to the Author was cut off as the name of the Academy came crashing down as if God himself wanted every known creature in the world to know the name of the institute that would be the location our hero(es) resided in for the time being...

HONNOUJI ACADEMY!

The figure glared as his eye twitched. Oh yeah, the Author was going to get it when he finished this story, he was going to be damn certain of that fact. Maybe if he went after the guys girlfriend, that would be great revenge against the Author. Yeah, he could see it now. The Author, on his knees, sobbing as he walked away, laughing as the guys now ex-girlfriend went with him.

Little did he know that the Author did not have a girlfriend.

Sighing, the figure walked towards the school/city, his body and face still covered by shadows that the Author felt helped make a far more compelling character in a mysterious kind of way. Grumbling about 'giant-ass words falling from the sky', the figure simply shook his head and focused on why he was even there in the first place.

He had been tailing the daughter of his old teacher, the man who had taken him in and taught him how to fight, the truth of life fibers, and also about pretty much everything else, for several months now, following her as she made a brutal path through the country searching for the person who killed Isshin Matoi. He was just lucky that he had managed to catch up to her at Honnouji, so now they could work together to find the people who did the old man in, and kick their bitch ass'.

He idly wondered if you spelled the plural form of ass ass' or asses.

Stepping into the lower ring of the Academy/City, he looked around, and seeing all of the teens his age going towards the giant ass pillar thing in the center of the city/academy, he followed and hoped he had found the place that Isshin's daughter, Ryuko, would be. He had discovered on his journey/stalking quest thing that the girl had been going from school to school in an effort to find the people, whom the figure knew who they were, if that made any kind of fucked up sense, in an effort to extract some justice.

He came to a stop at what he assumed was the door of the school, again cursing the author for making it seem as if he was so deep in thought that he could pass what would normally be an hours worth of time in a few short moments. Seriously, it was like the laws of nature didn't apply to him or something!

And he was still covered in fucking shadows!

Sighing for what felt like the millionth time, the figure walked into the courtyard and immediately knew things were about to get a bit strange, but two things stood out.

The first was, of course, the fact that he was being stared at by every single person in the courtyard, as well as being looked (glared?) at by who he assumed was the leader of the school in some form or manner, from atop a massive set of stairs that made him want to cry out in sorrow, or at least convince the Author to install an escalator.

The girl in question was a fairly tall female, of course, and she had to be one of the most attractive ones he had seen before. She had long black hair cut in a hime style, neat and orderly, as if she had spent quite a while trying to get it to do what she wanted. She had very prominent, yet feminine, eyebrows that made the figure remember a duo of crazy martial artist he had fought in his past at one point, bringing up the thought that she may have been related to the two somehow. She had a voluptuous hourglass figure with large breasts, which was covered, mostly, by a uniform that was completely white with blue accents, falling just above her mid thigh area, with thigh high heeled boots in the same color scheme. In her hands, presented before her as if it was a scepter, was a katana in a white sheath.

SATSUKI KIRYUUIN

She was looking at him with what he hoped wasn't her base setting of an expression. She had a very pretty face, with a very creamy complexion, like milk in all honesty. She was beautiful, and he was most likely going to try and flirt with her several times at a later date.

The second was that most of the people were bowing, making some kind of weird path thing, with another attractive girl whom he thought was Ryuko was looking at him as well, only switching from glaring at him to the other girl glaring at him.

RYUKO MATOI

She was obviously younger than him, with black hair that feathered out, a red streak going through it. She was wearing a very revealing sailor uniform that was black with a red, orange, and yellow eye like thing on the left side. It revealed her stomach and was connected to the thigh length skirt by suspenders. She had white runners on, with a giant ass scissor blade beside her, but from the looks of it, she only had the red side, not the purple side.

A shame, purple was his third favorite color.

After several tense seconds, the older girl spoke with a voice filled with a righteous conviction that even fat priests would be jealous of. "Stranger, who are you? Why are you shadowed in darkness?"  
The figure simply chuckled as he shrugged in a nonchalant manner. He idly wondered if he should take this situation seriously, but instead he chose to go the way of an old friend of his. "Who am I? Well, I am Nobody. As for the shadows? Well...let's just say the author is being a bit of an asshole and move on with our lives, shall we?"

The girl gave him a long look, and everyone thought she was going to kill him for his obvious disrespect. Instead she turned her calculative gaze to the other girl, Ryuko, and said. "Matoi, you wish to know what kind of information I have on the other half of your Red Scissor Blade, correct?" At the hesitant nod, the older girl turned back to the figure and said. "Very well then. Defeat this man and I shall tell you a small piece of information!"

Ryuko looked at the shadowed figure and smirked. It would be easy. Hey, she didn't know the guy! Why should she care if he gets his ass beat? It wasn't like she knew him or anything. Beating him would bring her one step closer to getting her (Insert Eren Jaeger: AoT Abridged Voice) Vengeance(END Eren Jaeger: AoT Abridged Voice) then who cares?

She quickly pulled the pin out of her glove, causing her Kamui, Senketsu, to engulf her in a bright light. When the entire process was done because the Author, as the figure has stated before, was a lazy prick who didn't want to describe a scene that was incredibly weird in a sexual way, or was it reverse, she was revealed to be wearing a new outfit. She had on a tight top that covered her arms to her hands, with the eye of Senketsu now spikier. Her stomach was still showing and still connected, by suspenders, to her short, frilly skirt. She had on thigh high heels as well, making him wonder how girls fought in those. A question for another time. The coloring of the clothing was mostly black, but with red thrown in as an accented color.

The figure just smirked as she charged, dodging every attack she threw at him, and infuriating her as she swung her blade harder and faster. This guy was unreal! he dodged every single attack, something that no one had ever done before, like he wasn't even trying!

He ducked under a swipe and responded with a palm to the stomach, knocking the air out of her as she staggered back, coughing as she attempted to get air to her suddenly airless lungs. With a simple palm strike, he had managed to push her back at least ten feet!

But, she wasn't one to just take things lying down, and so she responded in kind. She first with with a stab to the gut, which was dodged, and then a sideways slash. She kept up the combo of keeping him dodging, before pulling an unexpected move completely out of her ass. She raised her red scissor blade high in the air, the sun glinting off of the metallic blade, almost enough to reveal the figure if the Author wasn't using his shadowed visage as a plot device for the first chapter of this epic tale.

She brought it down with a fury unseen by anyone, the force behind the attack causing a massive cloud to rise up and cover the two fighters, well, more like aggressor and apathetic bastard who breaks the fourth wall every few paragraphs.

After a moment, the cloud dispersed, making the gathered people suck in their breath, accept for the Four Devas, of course, or are they called the Student Council now? Doesn't matter. Anyways, is made the crowed accept for the Student Council/Four Devas and the older girl to suck in their breaths, and then let their jaws hang loose.

He had caught the sword.

Ryuko felt a myriad of different things going on in her head, each one more confusing, before she finally managed to speak, this time choosing annoyance as her emotional set.

"OI! Asshole! Who the hell do you think you are, huh?! You can't just stop a fight like that!" She ground out, her eyes glaring dangerously at the shadowed male as he easily held off her scissor blade with his glove hand, making her even more frustrated at the fact he was holding her off...with one hand...while Senketsu was pumping full power.

Now, Ryuuko Matoi wasn't patient. Oh no, she was far from it. If she wanted something, she either got it herself, or took it from the bodies of her defeated enemies, that is to say if they had what she wanted in the first place. However, she prided herself on her skills in fighting, which had taken major blows due to the fact that she had to actually fight the people at Honnouji Academy.

But then this asshole not only comes up and blocks her attack, but also manages to knock every person, no matter what Star Uniform they have, on their asses, something she was very much unable to do.

Her pride felt as if it had been cut up, burnt, had the ashes collected, then burnt again, before piss had been poured all over it.

The shadowed figure simply chuckled, showing off his sharp canines and the rest of his teeth, all pearly white to perfection. After his short bout of giggles, he gave a grin that showed off just how sharp his teeth really were. "Now, now...there's no need for violence or name calling. Besides, it's not me who has to worry about the unknown factor like you, Mistress Kink, and Busty-Brow up there."

His comment was heard by everyone in the vicinity of the Academy, and many males gulped when they heard what he had called their beloved leader, Satsuki Kiryuuin. It was a very little known fact, but Ira Gamagoori, the leader of the Disciplinary Forces, had a very small amount of tolerance for people who he thought 'insulted' Lady Satsuki. The fact that this guy did so, and so easily too, was nothing short of amazing to them.

Most of them had already started preparing his coffin.

Ryuuko simply gaped at this guy. Did he just call her that?! Seriously, who the fuck was this guy that, even surrounded by enemies, he was able to keep such a calm, uncaring atmosphere, and even insult and mock two of the most powerful people here! This guy had some serious stones! "The fuck you just call me, asshole?!"  
The guy simply rolled his neck and asked, in his masculine voice befitting of a guy who couldn't be older than seventeen or eighteen based on his build, a question that nearly threw everyone for a loop. "I have no idea why, but apparently all we've been doing for the last five minutes is standing here, talking, when we could be doing something productive with our lives, like, I don't know, making cakes and shit?" He then paused and asked in a more curious tone. "Hey, if I say my name and introduce myself, do you think I'll get a badass giant caption like the rest of you guys and your Kamui? Or are the Author is too stingy to give me one?"

Said Author scoffed in arrogance as he went on with the story, scowling as he sipped some Mountain Dew from a lite bottle. Ungrateful specks of his imagination.

How was she to respond to this? Ryuuko backed off, her sword simply falling to her side as she and Senketsu watched him go on and on about how he deserved a grand entrance like everyone else, completely ignoring the increasingly awed, confused, fearful, and even aroused looks he was getting. It seemed that the shadow that had been on him was lifted by the Author as he finally decided to describe who would no doubt become a pivotal and powerful character in the series of chapters that make up the story.

And for good reason, too, she thought with a blush. This guy was hot! He was lean, with an aristocratic face with sharp features, a spiky mop of black hair that had dark blue highlights in it falling all of the place in random intervals. He was wearing some stylish clothes, in all honesty, that looked pretty good on him. A blue shirt that had an interesting spiraling marking on the stomach and chest in black, with black pants that were given a baggy appearance by the white tape wrapped around his lower shins, and the black and blue sneakers he had on weren't anything to scoff at. Around his neck was a bright blue scarf that trailed behind him in the wind. Over his shirt and ensemble he wore a black jacket that had several tama lining the collar, with white fur lining the edges, that was left unzipped up to about his bellybutton. On his hands were gloves, one of them a fingerless glove that was on his right hand, not unlike hers, the other, his left hand, was covered entirely, and was the one he had used to block her sword with. His face was blemish free, and his eyes were the most interesting thing, a dull purplish-grey with four rings in them, and three tama in each ring.

But what got her attention was when his shirt, where the spiral-mark looking thing was now an eye, not unlike Senketsu, which blinked before looking at her. The Kamui's eye, for that was the only thing it could to have been, was red with four concentric rings in the eye, with several tama circling the rings.

Now her question was an even bigger, who the fuck was this guy?! How did he have a goddamn Kamui?! Where did he come from?! Did he know her Dad?!

"Just...who are you?" She asked quietly, even though she was sure he heard.

The guy grinned and raised a hand, pointing his thumb at his chest he spoke loudly and clearly for all to hear. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I was a student of your old man, Isshin Matoi."

NARUTO UZUMAKI

"Yes! I got a badass entrance giant letter thing!"

His words reached her ears, and processed within her mind faster than most neurons should be capable of, and her eyes widened as she saw the truth in the guys, Naruto's, eyes. He was telling the truth, or at least believed he was, and she felt herself tremble in a confusing mix of emotions as he continued to regard her with his impassive gaze.

He hadn't meant for it to be that much of a shock. Sure he expected some kind of shock or outrage, but he didn't expect to be looked at by her cog wheeled eyes in such a manner. It was as if she had found some kind of new lease on life or something. Then again, he had just said that he was connected to her father in a close manner, and that he had known the guy.

The black haired teen idly recalled a time when Isshin had been speaking of his daughter, who was off at school, and about how he wished that they were closer to each other, but the circumstances surrounding his staying in hiding required him to keep himself hidden from the world lest REVOCS come for him.

Naruto didn't really care all that much about Nudist Beach or REVOCS, he really didn't, he only became a student of Isshin to make his personal Kamui, which he was wearing now. It was a bit of a bitch to make, but he had spent a long time, even during the summer when Ryuko came home and he had to stay exclusively to the basement laboratory to hide from her, perfecting it to the point that he doubted even the 'Shinra Kotetsu' that Isshin was so frightened his ex-wife would use couldn't stand up to him.

He was, of course, speaking of his Kamui Shinju no Juubi. It was the most powerful of them all, and he was damn sure it was gonna stay that way. While, from what he understood from the lessons from Isshin, Senketsu would grow and adapt to the wearer, his Shinju had already been 'born' and bonded to him for nearly two years, making it much more advanced and adapted than the others.

The bond between a Kamui and a person was simple and complicated: When a person wears one, they bond to it, and the Kamui responds. As time goes by and the Kamui is used more and more, then it becomes better and better, stronger and stronger. But to use it, you have to have a specific state of mind. For girls, they had to accept their bodies and be proud of showing a bit of skin. For guys, well, his Shinju hurt him every time it took his blood to power up, but thanks to his ability to heal and regenerate cells at an accelerated rate, he didn't have to worry about losing all his blood, thank god.

He was knocked from his rambling thoughts as Ryuko looked at him with hopeful and, reluctantly, teary eyes. The hope in her voice made his apathetic gaze waver ever so slightly, before he crushed the feeling and returned to his apathetic eyes and calm, lazy smile. "Y-You knew my Dad?"

"Yeah, I did. I've actually been looking for you for a while now, coz he made me promise to teach you how to properly use a Kamui if he died before he could get the chance. You've been really difficult to catch up to until now, so...yeah." Naruto finished lamely and awkwardly. Come on, he had been basically stalking her for nearly six months, it was bound to be! Not to mention he felt like a Creeper everytime he did. It was just one of those things that made him uncomfortable.

After all, he was older than her by like, two years.

She powered her Kamui down and approached him, the both seemingly forgetting where they were, and looked up at him. She estimated his height to be at about 5'10", now that she was up close. "So...what now?"

Naruto sighed as he stretched his back and looked at Satsuki, before looking back at Ryuko. "We...run like bitches then talk when it's safe."  
"Wha-?" Ryuko asked before she felt herself being pulled, her new found acquaintance dodging the attacks of the Junior Members and Heads of their clubs. Seriously, who uses fucking TENNIS BALLS as weapons?! Those hurt like a bitch!

He ran for a while, having had to return for the girl Ryuko had befriended, Mako, whom they had forgotten in Naruto's haste to escape such a fucked up weapon, and dodging even more attacks from enraged teenagers with super clothes. Did it scare him? No! Bitch Please! He was Naruto Uzumaki, he wasn't scared of anything!

Accept for cats. That was where he drew the line.

Demonic beasts with claws and an attitude that rivaled that of any teenage girl on her period!

It was later, when all had calmed down and he had time to think, going into a deep inner monologue to do so, that he realized he may need more help than he thought, as pretty much everybody in the school, except for the people of the lower ring of course, had those Uniforms, and he may need to call in some outside help from old friends he made, some of them females, on his travels.

But if he did that, then there was an even greater chance of the girls getting into a long, drawn out and outright crazy fight over him, his good looks, sparkling personality, and amazing posterity!

Hey, the Author never said he was humble.

Just a shadowy figure for most of the first chapter.

Sighing, Naruto hardened his eyes and looked up into the sky, extending his arms in a ridiculous manner and flapping them in a bird like way, getting some raised eyebrows from Ryuko and a happy Mako joining in randomly, he began to make a ridiculous sound that was too amazing to write down, sending out a message that reached far and wide across the world, reaching the ears of several individuals that all perked up with hardened gazes, ready for whatever trials may come when they arrived at the Academy.

And thus, our stage is set, and our story is ready to begin!

AN: I decided to split the chapter because after this, it became forced and needed editing. But have no fears, I will never abandon you guys for anything...except if the Magic Conch says so. Then screw you guys, I'm going home!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I'm sorry for not updating this as soon as I could, just recently got out of a very bad situation with my girlfriend. Domestic Abuse, no matter what sex is being abused or abusing, is a crime and needs to be stopped.**

**So, in an effort to ask for forgiveness, here is this chapter.**

**"Speaking"**

**'Thoughts'**

**("Kamui Speaking")**

**('Kamui Thoughts')**

**(Written Words/Computers/Automated Voices)**

**(Chapter 2- The Future is Bulletproof, but past...not so much)**

Not many people knew what the true definition of Awkward was. Many people felt that they knew what it was because they had felt it at least once in their lives, but no one really knew what it meant. Awkward is defined as 'causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience from a situation or event'.

It was what came to mind as Naruto sat on the opposite side of the table from Ryuko and the family of the girl he had to go back and save, which he would argue to this day was secretly an alien lesbian bent on the rape of all women worldwide. The silence that permeated the small home was causing a sort of uncomfortable feeling to well up inside of the Uzumaki as he looked at a deadly serious Ryuko. Her eyes had questions, but from what he read of her body language, she was more than ready to jump across the table and kill him.

Joy. Just what he needed. High strung woman who were more than ready to kick his ass.

Settling himself a bit, and ignoring the small pug that was breathing heavily near him, at least for the time being, Naruto placed his elbow on the table and leaned his face into the palm, setting up the appearance of complete apathy to anything and everything that was going on. "I suppose you have questions. And depending on what they are, I may or may not be able to answer them."

He wasn't going to promise anything. For all he knew, Ryuko could have questions like 'Why does my vagina bleed every month?' or 'Why do the Monkeys (the animal, not the band) not always wear funny little hats that make them all the better?' or even a statement that could be taken as a question. You cannot always predict what another person would do, so he had developed a mindset of expect the weirdest and worst out of every situation and he would never be surprised again.

Ruko calmed herself before she spoke. It wouldn't do to scare him off before he answered her many questions. "So...who are you?"

Naruto blinked, idly remembering the giant red letters that basically gave the entire school the ability to find him. Not many people were named Naruto Uzumaki, after all. "Well, I suppose I could give an introduction. Although, I do remember doing this at the school earlier."

The lights dimmed, only for a spotlight to come up, Naruto standing there, his back to them as kabuki music started to play. Cherry Blossom petals began to fall from the sky, swirling around him in a dramatic way before stopping and falling to the ground. He spun around, hopping on one foot as he did, his face set in a large grin as he did. "I am the man who makes the ladies quake! I make men bow before my boots! Females cream themselves when they see me coming (hehehe) and even the Gods themselves must admit I'm pretty cool! I am the ever amazing, the super spectacular, the sexy bitch, the amazing Naruto Uzumaki!"

He may have been singing a bit of praise there, but hey, arrogance and confidence were two different things. It wasn't his fault he was all of those things, and more, especially when his Kamui was active and he used one of his favorite abilities, the one who had gotten him the title of 'The Second Coming of the Pervy Sage' back home.

His clothes rustled and the eye of his Kamui opened again, the stitches seemingly swirling around as the orb stared at Ryuko in disdain. It was only thanks to her ability to hear them that she caught what the clothing said, even though it did piss her off royally. ("So this is the weakling Matoi wanted us to find and train, huh? Doesn't look like much. A bit scrawny. But she does have SOME skill with that thing. Although she will never have the skill to use it like THEY do...")

Naruto frowned at his clothes and looked up when Ryuko growled at him. What had he done? "What is wrong with your Kamui?!"

("Nothing is wrong with me you arrogant fool. All that bothers me is the fact that you still believe, that even after today, you stand a chance of defeating Satsuki Kiryuin, and by extension, the even greater threat.") The Kamui growled furiously as he shifted about. ("The fact is, if it hadn't of been for Naruto, you would have been completely overwhelmed by the might of the Student Council there. So instead of asking stupid questions, why don't you train?! Become stronger?!")

Ryuko growled as her hand inched to her teeth, moving to pull the pin out and teach the stupid clothing a lesson. Instead she took a breath and calmed herself, remembering that fighting the clothes she would have to fight Naruto by extension, and she wasn't ready for that, as much as it pained her to admit. "What is with your clothes? Why does it seem like such a dick?"

Naruto rubbed his forehead and sighed. "To be honest, he's not really a dick, just a pragmatist with a double streak of cynic and violent thrown in. And his name is Shinju, please remember that."

"Why?"

"Well, how would you feel if someone called you 'girl' all the time instead of Ryuko? What's so different about your Senketsu and my Shinju anyway? They have sentience, they can speak, so they are people, well, clothes, and should be treated with respect." He was silently wondering just what the hell the Author was doing, making him spout such a cliche line like that. Was he hoping to create some kind of sympathy for Kamui?

But it was true. While he didn't know if they had 'souls' per say, he was certain that if he was constantly called by WHAT he was instead of WHO he was, he would go even more insane than he was now. It was kinda like some of his subordinates, who were still making their way here from all over God's Green Earth, who had differences from other people, and were labeled because of that. Such kind of discrimination wasn't cool with him, and he was damn sure that Ryuko got it through her head as well.

And when she finally did, and became comfortable in her own skin, she would become a force to be reckoned with in her Kamui.

(Elsewhere- At the moment)

Another figure was seen walking into the city/school, this time not covered by the shadows written into the story by the author for plot devices. No, instead, the figure, which was male, made his slow ass way into the city.

He was relatively tall, standing at about 5'9", with brown hair that was cut nearly to the skin on the sides, and was shaggy at the top, giving him a disheveled appearance. His eyes were a honey colored brown that would draw people in, only to be cut down by the cold and calculating glint in them, as well as the dark amusement in them, as if they wear all jokes. He was wearing a white hoodie with the drawstrings tucked into the hoodie, underneath a white flak jacket that was zipped all the way up. He had white cargo jeans that were tucked into his heavy duty, army surplus, black leather boots. Across his lower back was a longer than average trench knife, with the blade and handle being of one piece of metal, having had the finger grips dug out by the figure himself. It was at least 24 inches long and ready to rip into any enemy.

He was walking in an aggressive 'don't fuck with me' stance, his shoulders hunched and his head down slightly, fists stuffed into his pants pockets as he trudged down the street, his eyes straight ahead and ignoring any and all people around him, even the pretty hookers on the many corners, working their trade.

He was already in a pissy mood, as usual, and sluts and dumbasses only made it worse. Now, he would be the first person to tell you that he was an asshole. He just didn't give a damn about anybody, but he had an obligation, a sense of loyalty, that brought him here. It didn't help that he had heard rumors of Kamui activity in this shithole for a while now, and wanted to see if there were any that could be a good match for him and his, Gyuki, which he was wearing now.

Sighing, the guy just smirked tiredly. He was going to find Naruto Uzumaki, and when he did, he would definitely find some kind of amusement to excite his bored and dull life, or his name wasn't Kokuo Kakegame!

KOKUO KAKEGAME

He started when random words appeared and spelled out his name, giant, blood red words that just randomly appeared for no reason. He gently poked them as he stared in a bored interest, caring enough for a look, but not enough to figure out where the hell they came from. Maybe if he stuck around, he would find out.

(Back with Naruto- That Night)

Stepping into what could be considered the main square place of the No-Stars, which could barely even be called a Square due to it's octagonal shape, Naruto looked around before picking a random location to walk towards. He had time to spare before he was due back at the Mankanshoku residence, and he was going to use it to explore and get into crazy hijinks, most likely involving random events that would happen to him.

As he walked down the desolate, shit strewn street he idly thought back to all of the things that Ryuko SHOULD have asked him, snickering as he thought of the many questions he was definitely going to be getting over the while they were interacting with each other. Doing so caused him to let his mind wander which, in any other situation, would have been bad. But, in this instance, his mind didn't immediately go to the gutter or attic, and instead he became enthralled in the past.

Stopping and running a hand through his hair, Naruto suppressed the memories of his past and put up a strong front. There was no going back after what he had done, there was no regrets. He had done all he could, and living in the past was a foolish thing to do.

Turning a corner, Naruto looked up and found himself outside of a simple ramen stand. He looked it over and felt a sense of nostalgia run through him again, only this time he decided to indulge himself a bit and walked inside. The familiar scent of ramen entered his nostrils, causing him to smile slightly, before he crushed that feeling and sat down.

The old man who was running the stand smiled at him as he worked to fill the order the Uzumaki had just placed, a bowl of simple miso ramen, his brown eyes shining with happiness. "You know, your the first customer we've had in a while, over three months in fact."

Naruto merely raised an eyebrow at that. "Really now?"

"Yup! We used to deliver to Lady Satsuki all the time you know, she absolutely loves the stuff! She always used to pick it up personally. But, about a year ago, she slowly began to stop, until a few months ago she stopped altogether."

"That sounds like the beginnings of an incredibly touching and heart-warming story, Old Man. it really does, but I have no time for that. What I do need is a second bowl, though." Naruto said in a flippant tone.

The Old Man grumbled a bit at that but served the teen another bowl, getting a grin from the black haired guy, who promptly dug in. After a few more bowls and some light chatting, Naruto began to leave, only to halt when he came face to face with Ryuko, who glared at him in anger.

Blinking, Naruto looked back at the shop for a second then back at the girl, who promptly opened her mouth to speak. "You're not getting away until you answer my questions!" here, from seemingly out of nowhere, a gangbang- as it was a fairly accurate way of describing this poorly organized lot of idiots- of kids a few years younger than him came from nowhere and surrounded him, each holding some kind of thug like weapon.

Except for Timmy. Timmy, for some unknown reason, had a condom.

What he was going to- oh. OH. Fuck you Timmy, and not in the way you would like it, either, you little Gay Bastard.

His eye twitching at the Author, Naruto asked in an irritated tone of voice. "And surrounding me with a gangbang of kids was going to help you get answers?"

"Yeah. Now, start talking."

Oh, she really shouldn't have done that.

"Ok. So, you see, you'll know what you need to know when you know it, but not until after I tell you when you need to know. And knowing is half the battle." Naruto said in what was supposed to be a wise voice, that came out mocking and rude. Ryuko glared and the older teen grinned, leaning down into her face slightly, grinning even more when he noticed the pink tint on her cheeks.

She would never admit it, but having this attractive of a guy come into her personal space was kind of awesome, as she had never really been given much attention from guys because of her reputation. And despite her tomboyish attitude, she was still a girl, and all girls deserved, at least once, in their lives to feel wanted by whoever they prefered sexually.

And she definitely felt wanted right now.

"What the hell is your problem, Asshole!?" The pink cheeked Ryuko asked in half embarrassment, half anger. he was supposed to be answering her questions dammit!

Naruto closed his eyes as he grinned even wider. "You know...you look a lot cuter when you don't scowl."

She blushed even redder after he said that, making him snicker in his head. Damn, it was fun as HELL messing with people, especially girls. Due to his amazing good looks, Naruto was capable of making any woman, no matter their sexual orientation, weak in the knees.

He was just that awesome.

"SHUT UP!" Ryuko yelled as she swung at the older teen, only for him to laugh and lean out of her arms range. She scowled as he looked at her with mirth evident in his eyes and a mocking smile on his face.

Naruto held the mocking smile as he spoke in a smug tone. "Okay, but I thought you wanted answers to your questions?" Seeing the girl about to explode, naruto laughed and waved his hand. "kidding! Anyways, all I'm capable of telling you is that if you want to find the person who killed the Old Man, your Dad, then you need to beat the Student Council, and Satsuki Kiryuin. Other than that, I can't tell you much. Sorry."

And with that, he disappeared, leaving Ryuko with more questions than answers.

(Later that Night- With Naruto)

Naruto had to admit, the school...city...thing...was really big. Like, seriously big. It had taken him the rest of the day and a bit of the night after his 'conversation', note the quotations around the word Conversation, Naruto had decided to visit Satsuki.

And by visit, the Author meant annoy.

And by annoy, he meant perv on.

Naruto grumbled as he stared at Satsuki's home, annoyance in his eyes as he regard the place. What the fuck was wrong with this girl? She had so many fucking guard dogs, almost as if she didn't want people to visit/break into her home!

Although, they weren't effective against him.

Little known fact: Gaurd dogs were, in all honesty, very much susceptible to pot brownies.

Walking up to the door, he opened it and walked inside, only to stop and stare blankly at the Student council who had formed ranks around the busty girl, who gave him her signature scowl and glare combo. "Well...this is awkward..."

Ira growled as he glared at Naruto, anger and rage evident on his giant face. "You disrespectful hooligan! To dare break into Lady Satsuki's home so blatantly is-"

Naruto drawled out in a carefree manner, not caring he interrupted the large guy. "I don't know if anyones told you this, but in most cultures, it's the MASTER of the HOUSE who speaks first."

It was true. In most cultures servants didn't speak to any guest, even if said guest had basically broken in. Satsuki merely raised one an eyebrow and spoke up. "What are you doing here, Exchange Student?"

"Well, originally, I was going to come by and see if you had food and a bed I could sleep in. But, now that I have all of you guys here, I suppose I could tell you guys that..." here, Naruto got a serious look on his face. "...I want to join the Student Council."

It was silent after his declaration, with the Four CURRENT members of said council looking at Satsuki, who now had both brows raised in surprise. "And why do you want that? Why should I let you join?"

Naruto began ticking things off with his fingers. "One: I'm great company. Two: I'm amazing. Three: I know just WHO you are, Satsuki. And finally, two words: Life Fibers."

Naruto held back a smirk at the astonished look he got from Satsuki as she regarded him more seriously.

**AN: I'm gonna stop there and pick up next chapter. I know, cliffhangers.**

**As for the harem, well, here are the girls in order of entrance:**

**Satsuki**

**Ryuko**

**Nonon**

**Nui**

**Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I really loved the feedback I got from last chapter, I really did. This chapter will give a bit of a teaser to Naruto and Satsuki's relationship, and how they interact when it's just the two of them. Not much action but, hopefully, some humorous moments.**

**And to all of you who sent me PMs about my Ex, thank you. It meant a lot to know that people do understand my plight. I haven't brought her up on charges mainly because it was mostly verbal and uncalled for, but the straw that broke the camels back was when she gave me a fucking black eye!**

**As if I didn't already have enough confidence issues.**

**"Speaking"**

**'Thoughts'**

**("Kamui Speaking")**

**('Kamui Thoughts')**

**(Written Words/Computers/Automated Voices)**

(Chapter 3- Lunch and Running Horse)

It was late at night that we find Satsuki sitting in her own personal room, contemplating the conversation she had had earlier with a certain badass. It was one of the most uncomfortable ones she had had in a long time, as no matter how hard she tried to intimidate him, Naruto would just shrug off as if it was nothing.

She had learned that Naruto knew all about the Life Fibers and the threat they posed to humanity, as well as the existence of Kamui. He had gone on to explain that he had absolutely no intention of siding one way or the other, as he simply didn't care.

He was simply apathetic to the blight of others, as if he had no care for whether they lived or died, whether they were free or slaves, as if he didn't care whether or not the world was forced into a brutal dictatorship under the rule of clothing based aliens taking over.

It infuriated her to no end. How could anyone be so uncaring?!

Naruto had explained it in a simple, yet brutally honest manner: WHY should he care? The fact of the matter was, even if he did something to try and stop them, he was one guy. No one is capable of accomplishing anything alone, so he felt no need to do anything to try.

But, she would show him. She would defeat the the Life Fibers and prove to him that no one was alone!

(With Naruto- Elsewhere)

He had to admit, Satsuki's house was pretty freakin' cool. Seriously, the sheets were made of fucking silk worm silk, the most expensive kind of silk in the world. Beside his bed, there was a box of illegally imported cuban cigarettes, not cigars, but cigarettes. And damn did they taste good, too, he thought, taking a drag of his own smokestik. But, there was something that bothered him. "Fuck, man. There are kids starving in Africa and shit, at least, those late night commercials say so, but, still! What kind of stuck up person spends so much money on pointless shit!?"

Ignoring the impending sense of hypocrisy, Naruto proceeded to undress to his black boxers and slide under his new covers, intent on catching a fews Zs and maybe a Q or two, probably an F. Those were quite common these days.

Tomorrow was going to be a good day. Not only was it his first official day as a Student Council member, it was also the day that he began to extend a hand of friendship to Ryuko. And he had convinced Satsuki to go to lunch with him to 'get to know each other'. Sure she was probably going to use it as an excuse to learn all she could about him and his warped ideals, but that's fine.

He would get her to smile or die trying! But, he hoped it never came to that!

(The Next Day)

Walking down the street, Naruto grinned to himself, finger combing his hair to some semblance of order so as to look at least presentable for his not-a-date date with Satsuki. Shinju had helped a bit by forming himself into a more formal wear, mostly just changing his base shirt into a button up and his hoodie jacket into a casual blazer.

The Kamui had absolutely no want to remain that y, however, and after his lunch with Satsuki would change back to his regular appearance. Shinju really didn't like formal clothes, as they weren't as practical as the clothes Naruto had changed him into, and, even if he would NEVER admit it, he thought he looked cooler that way and prefered to be the coolest Kamui around.

Stepping into the small restaurant, Naruto immediately noticed that Satsuki had already arrived and was seated, waiting for him. Smiling, he made his way over and sat down.

"Hello, Satsuki-chan, how has your day been so far?" He greeted, easily slipping into a casual attitude when dealing with the girl. Others would be at least somewhat intimidated by the young woman, but he was Naruto-Fucking-Uzumaki. He wasn't scared of shit.

Satsuki replied in her normal tone, formal. "It has been well, Uzumaki. Things are running smoothly so far this school year."

Well that was a short, clinical answer. But, he could work with it. "Is that so? So, none of the new students have caused any problems?"

"No. They all know what happens if they do, so they fear breaking the rules. As it should be." Damn, this woman was like a freaking robot. All of her answers were so frakking stiff and formal.

"Cool. That's good. By the way, I don't think I told you this, but I really like your dress. It makes you look even more like a...leader." He had no idea how to describe her current garments. They were very attractive on her, but openly stating that he found her attractive would be bad. Very bad.

Her outfit was actually a Kamui, if what Shinju whispered in his ear was anything to go by. It was a short dress that stopped at her mid-thigh, looking a bit like a uniform, with long sleeves and the golden shoulder tassel thingies he didn't know the name of. Completing the look were her thigh high heeled boots that worked well with her clothes and made her seem even more regal than she already was.

Satsuki raised an eyebrow at his comment, but nodded all the same. It was a respectable thing for him to say. "Thank you. I see that you yourself have cleaned up a bit. I am most impressed."

The black haired young man grinned at that, his pearly white teeth giving a slight shine to his face. "Thanks. I do try."

The waitress came up to their table a bit later, nervously asking what they wanted to drink. Naruto had asked for an orange soda while Satsuki got a glass of iced tea, unsweet. They talked for a bit, mostly just simple things that had no real matter to the world at large, discussing news and stuff of that nature.

When the waitress came back with their drinks and to ask for their food order, Satsuki asked for a Chef's Salad and Naruto got a cold cut sandwich with pepper jack cheese.

They continued their conversation for a bit until Satsuki asked a question that made the Uzumaki go silent for a bit.

"Uzumaki, this lunch has been quite delectable with a nice conversation, but I must ask just what do you know of REVOCS operations and the Life Fibers?" Satsuki asked, her tone serious and iron clad.

Naruto frowned a bit, kind of hoping that the Author would forget about story progression and simply let him have a nice date with the woman. But no, story progression is important. Without it, this would be a drabble fic that had absolutely no cool shit going on. "I know enough to have at least a dozen WET squads sent after me."

That wasn't good. Her mother may be a crazy bitch, but she was a thorough crazy bitch. The fact that Naruto had yet to die like a good boy must be pissing her off beyond all recognition. It also probably didn't help that he no doubt defeated them in the most humiliating and degrading way possible. "And just what do you know?"

Naruto tilted his head to the side and thought. "I know all about the Life Fibers and what she wants to do. But, such things can wait for later. Right now, enjoy being young and alive."

"I can enjoy my life when Ragyo is dead and the world safe. You should be taking this more seriously." Satsuki commented, looking at the teen to see what he would do. She was a bit shocked and surprised to see him just laugh and wave his hand to the sides.

Naruto gave a laugh at that, his eyes filled with mirth as he did. "Take it seriously? Lady, I'm more serious about taking out REVOCS than I've been about most shit in my life, but actively working against them now makes it obvious that I'm a threat. For now, I keep my head down and stay out of sight, waiting for the perfect chance to strike. Besides, while you may have people you're willing to defend, I have no one. I'm alone. If I die because I didn't take this as serious as you do...I highly doubt anyone would even give a damn."

He left after that, leaving Satsuki a lot to think about as he did. What had he meant by that? Having people she would defend? Yeah, she would fight for her comrades on the Student Council, but would she even be able to protect them? And that comment about him dying, did he truly not have anyone to care for or give him care?

He certainly left her with a lot to think about.

(With Naruto)

("I haven't seen you blow up like that in a long time, Naruto.") Shinju said as the teen in question walked away, clothes having changed back to the ones he always wore. ("Did she truly get to you with that question?")

"No. It's more like...she questioned why I was doing this. As if she had the right to. My convictions are my own, no one else needs to know about them." Naruto spoke to his clothes. "And the way she said it? As if I had something to lose? Ha!"

"Ya know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity." A voice drawled to the side, grabbing Naruto's attention as he turned, seeing Kokuo there in the flesh.

"Kokuo! You sorry, puss face piece of shit!" Naruto exclaimed, his signature grin on his face as the two males embraced each other in friendship. Their bro-hug was so amazing, so manly, that everyone around them suddenly felt masculine pride swell within them, scaring the woman at the feeling of pride in them, making many freak out and riot.

At the end of the day, over thirty people had died and many more had been sent to the Makanshou clinic, only to die as well.

The two old friends got to talking, with Naruto asking what was going down with Kokuo in his neck of the woods.

He was in for a surprising tale.

Apparently, Kokuo had been abducted alongside several others to a hidden island by a gaming company for a real life version of an online game he had played in the past. There, he had dealt with psycho commandos and angsty people throwing explosives everywhere.

He had managed to get out after the crap went down between this kid and the kids old friend, while a busty blonde chick lamented her beauty because some of HER old friends had been hurt because of an honest mistake, leading her to be sent to the island.

Yeah, fucked up.

Once off the island, he had been picked up by a group of pirates, some kinda company with an old timey pirate name, and had gone on several high-octane adventures with them, having to deal with a whining business man contemplating the meaning of humanity and life as a criminal and a damn near insane chick with itchy fingers.

Finally, he had gotten back to Japan, only to wind up in a rural town where, apparently, a group of vampires had bitten a lot of the people, leading to several massacres and more angst bullshit about humanity and what it means to be humans, culminating in a doctor burning the town to the ground, most of the prominent people dead.

And now, here he was.

Naruto blinked as he regarded his lazy friend. That had been a hell of story. "Fuck man, and I thought I had bad luck. Did you at least get the chick from the islands number or something? Hell, what about that crazy bitch, what was her name? Kelvy?"

"No. And I don't want them. For fucks sake, man, they had such 'tragic pasts' and shit that they monologued a lot. I can't deal with monologues like you, Boss."

Yeah, Kokuo had a lot of shit go down.

**AN: A short chapter, but I want to get this out. For anyone who can tell me what three Anime/Manga Kokuo had an adventure on, gets to have a personal preview of next chapter.**

**And believe me, it is gonna be good.**

**Anyways, I have a Naruto and Highschool DxD crossover going on right now, in the works, so I might not update for a bit, but hey, I will eventually.**


	4. Chapter 4

AN: So, I am writing this as a way of updating and increasing the continuation of the plot to go on and see the end. How much of that made sense? No one knows.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

("Kamui Speaking")

('Kamui Thoughts')

(Written Words/Computers/Automated Voices)

(Chapter 4- Slice of Life)

It was a strange thing, Kokuo mused to himself, that Naruto had taken such an interest in Satsuki. Sure, he had had his attention drawn by other girls and woman, but never before so much.

In all honesty, it kind of weirded him out. The Naruto Uzumaki he remembered was a carefree playboy. No one girl had ever satisfied him and he was notorious for going from one girl to the next.

Yes, Kokuo mused again as he sat on a bench, closing his eyes and sleeping there randomly, as he often did, it was such a strange thing indeed.

Sighing to himself, Kokuo gave a groan as he heard a loud, rather annoying voice wash over him. He absolutely despised Mako Makanshou, what with her perpetual optimism, rather lesbianic tendancies, and overall good cheer when he wanted to be nothing but a pessimistic, heterosexual, gloomy bastard.

They were like water and freaking oil!

(Line Break)

She had been invited to watch him go about his 'training', even if she had some doubts as to what that was. It was rather hard to believe that he would train, let alone allow her to see his methods, and maybe steal them for herself.

Or he could just be that much of a badass.

Satsuki shook her head as she made her way out to the wasteland surrounding Honnoji Academy to where Naruto was waiting for her, keeping up her customary frown. It was like she was constantly disapproving of every little thing anyone ever did.

As she walked, she thought over her plan to get Ryuko out of the giant chess game against REVOCS, as she had no intention of letting such a Wild Card go free in these times. The only reason she didn't attempt this with Naruto was because he was semi-on her side already. Other than his 'training' of Ryuko to be a better swordsman...woman...person, he hadn't really done much other than give her the occasional headache from his pranks and antics.

Finally arriving at Naruto training spot, the buxom raven haired girl stopped and looked around, absently noting the rather poor attempt by her Student Council to follow her stealthily, only to freeze and gape ever so slightly at the sight before her.

It was Naruto...with his shirt off.

Her cheeks began to heat up as she gazed at his adonis like body, a flaming blush making it's way into her pale face as she watched it stretch and contract with every move. Normally, she wouldn't have reacted this way, but she would make an acception this single instance since what she was seeing was perhaps the most physically fit male she had seen in her life. And it didn't help that she could see beads of sweat disappear past his pants seam, nor that the article of clothing in question hung so low on his amazing body.

Naruto's body was damn near close to absolute perfection. It was lean, with sinewy muscle compacted onto his bones, stretching and moving as he went through some kind of martial arts katas. His rock hard abs glistened slightly from sweat as he kicked, small scars of some kind popping up here and there on his god-like body.

How he had kept such a thing hidden, or even why, her mind couldn't comprehend. His clothes were pretty baggy, so it wasn't that much of a stretch to figure he hid all of this from others by wearing his Kamui. Speaking of, Shinju wasn't anywhere near Naruto, as the young man was wearing loose pants that were a dark blue in color that had red flames licking the bottoms.

It was an image Satsuki unconsciously memorized and stored away for later.

"Uzumaki!" Satsuki said loudly, drawing his attention. he waved and jogged over to her, slightly out of breath and bringing the scent of hard work with him.

"Yo, Satsuki!" He greeted, coming to a stop in front of her. He idly noted that he could see Ira Gamagoori attempting to hide behind a lump of rock nearby, as well as the weird guy with the wooden swords awkwardly pretending to be a tree by holding up tree branches, the glasses wearing, computer carrying kid not even trying to hide and sitting in plain sight on the ground, and Nonon actually managing a decent job of hiding, if not for her ridiculously big hat and pink hair, behind Ira. "You ready to see my training?"

Satsuki nodded, her mind going over what they could be doing. "Yes. I am most curious as to how you gain your strength, Uzumaki."

Naruto grinned and walked over to a pile of clothes, which just so happened to be Shinju, which immediately took the form of his normal clothes as he slipped them on. "Alright. So, in my opinion, the best and fastest way to get stronger is to fight strong people. So, power up your Kamui and let's do this!"

She blinked in surprise. Fighting? That was his method? She half expected some kind of weird training session with cheesy music, because it seemed just the kind of thing that Naruto would do. "Very well then, Uzumaki."

She grabbed the straps on her left arm and flicked them down, her Kamui glowing and covering her form as it changed to it's battle mode. Junketsu grew tinier as it did so, before revealing her battle form to Naruto.

It was skimpy as hell. It had two large shoulder things with Junketsu's eyes, which halfway covered her large breasts. Two suspender like straps went down the front and connected to a skirt like piece of cloth that covered her skimpy panties. Finally, high heeled boots completed the look. So much of her wonderfully pale skin was showing, that his mind went blank for a few moments and needed to be rebooted so as to keep himself professional here.

Naruto blinked in shock, his eyes roving over her form as she drew her katana. It was certainly...distracting. Although, it kind of made sense why it would be. Male opponents would be too busy staring to fight her, and that was bad. "Well...it is certainly unique."

"Are you also going to activate your Kamui, Uzumaki?" It was only logical he do so.

Naruto shrugged and replied in an excited manner. "No. I think i wanna see what I can do against you without Shinju helping me."

The young man extended his hands and six black orbs flew from the pockets of his pants and floated behind him in a circle, two of them floating to his hands and transforming into black rods that he grabbed and held in a fighting stance.

Satsuki watched with a raised eyebrow until Naruto answered her unasked question. "The Old Man isn't the only one with a knack for inventing interesting weapons and tools."

They paused for a second before blurring towards one another, clashing in the middle as they fought for dominance over the other. Naruto's constant grin got bigger and bigger the more that Satsuki fought back against his weapons, the two orbs in his hands forming into pitch black staves.

Said girl brought her fist up and sucker punched him in the cheek, giving her a momentary advantage to bring her blade back up and swing it down, completely missing Naruto as he rolled out of the way, but cutting through several boulders from the wind it created.

Naruto responded by charging forward, bringing his staves from either side and swinging both, which Satsuki ducked under, before flipping over her.

Landing on the other side, they charged again and clashed in the middle, again fighting for dominance. Naruto's grin was face splitting as his blue eyes stared intently into Satsuki's own and roared. "SHOW ME YOUR HEART! SHOW ME YOUR CONVICTIONS! SHOW ME EVERYTHING!"

They pushed away only to clash again in the middle, trading blow after blow, bruising and cutting each other up badly. Finally, they broke away and began to run parallel to each other before Naruto's staffs turned into classic cutlasses, which he used to attack again.

Satsuki felt herself slowly but surely get pushed back, the male in front of her making it even more difficult to fight due to his unpredictable nature. When she thought he would go for a stab, he instead slashed, when she thought he would parry, he blocked. Even with her considerable skill it was still proving to be a most difficult fight, and one she was desperately seeking a way to end the fight.

Suddenly, she got a devious, last ditch chance idea that would definitely end the spar.

She got into his guard, making Naruto tense and prepare to counter by bringing his staves up for a downward strike. But, instead of striking or attacking him, she instead grabbed him by the back of his head and smashed her lips to his, making his eyes widen as she did so.

All was silent as they stood there, lips to lips, until Satsuki pushed him to the ground and pointed her sword at him in victory. "I win."

Naruto simply nodded as he tried to wrap his head around what just happened.

(Line Break)

Satsuki sat in her study sipping a cup of tea quietly as she thought over the spar earlier, her mind going over just why she had done that. As she thought logically about it, she had her Student Council looking up as much information as they could about Naruto Uzumaki.

As she thought about the events, she began to dissect just why she had done so. She had always respected power and those who had power, even her mother, as much as she disliked to admit it. So, when Naruto had managed to fight her when she was using considerable force, showed just how powerful he really was, well, she was attracted.

She wasn't blind, either. She knew he was incredibly handsome and good looking, at least by the standards most girls had for themselves, including her. It was driven home by the fact that whenever he entered the school, most of the female populace tried to get into his pants. He was just a good looking guy that had a lot of prospects, and a lot of girls wanted to get a piece of it.

It was slightly frustrating for her, as Naruto was closest to her and, aside from Matoi, whom he spent a decent amount of time with, he generally spent most of it with her, either by annoying her with his constant references to popular culture or just speaking about random things. But with Matoi, he reserved his serious and strength filled attitude.

It made a slight jealous feeling wash over her each time Naruto would go and speak to Matoi, or even help her with one of the challenges she set up for Ryuko, but she knew that Naruto was only doing it out of some kind of favor to this 'Old Man' he talked about often.

(Line Break)

Naruto sighed as he walked along the streets of the city in boredom. That was one of the biggest problems he face now. Since he didn't have school and he didn't want to get a job, he had nothing he had to do. It made his life just a little bit more annoying, and just that much more amazing too. He had no school!

Shaking his head, Naruto groaned as he was once again surrounded by a group of ragamuffins, this time they were much more cautious, as Ryuko walked out with a scowl on her face and hands on her hips.

"Where the hell have you been?!" She all but growled out. Naruto looked at her blankly, his eyes blinking as he thought about it, before pointing down the street.

"I was there for a bit. Then over there. Spent some time here. Went back to that direction. And now, here we are!"

Ryuko scowled even more as she got closer to him, her head having to crane up to look in his face. "Not what I meant, asshole!"

Naruto grinned in response, leaning down into her face, his hot breath tickling her lips. "Now now, Ryuko-chan, a pretty girl like you shouldn't be using such foul language. it is rather unbecoming."

Ryuko blushed and growled as she took a swipe at the older male, who ducked with a laugh and began walking away. "Oi! Where do you think you're going?!"

"To find something to do that's interesting."

Naruto stopped when he came upon the sight of Timmy, once again, holding a condom, his face having a grin on it as he swayed back and forth. Frowning, Naruto raised his foot and kicked the obviously gay little boy in the face.

He would never be attracted to you, Timmy. Not now, and not ever.

(Line Break)

He had wound up, somehow, at the Makanshou residence, bored out of his mind as the small pug that they had, Guts, rested on his shoulder like a parrot. The oldest child, their daughter, Mako, was busy bothering Ryuko as they tried to complete homework, and their son, Mataro, pestered Naruto with questions about how he got so cool and shit.

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Naruto looked sharply at the kid and said in an iron clad voice. "Kid, if I buy you porn, will you shut the hell up?"

That certainly made the kid quiet.

Any man was willing to watch porn. It was a simple fact of life that seemed to escape many woman, and it was sort of like the stereotype of woman always watching soap operas.

It was later as he left, leaving Mataro to watch the cheap 70s porn he had bought for him. Hey, he wasn't going to stop the kid. Life was about living, if he took away the porn it would be a major dick move. He wasn't a dick.

He was an asshole. There was a major difference between the two. A Dick does things to piss people off, and asshole does is for the Lolz, and to annoy people. Like Ryuko.

Speaking of, he had better hurry. She apparently had a tennis match with the tennis Captain today because she felt the need to help that weird Mako person, and if he didn't hurry he was going to miss it, which would be disappointing. The girl barely had patience and was so not a good candidate for the tennis team. Or basketball. Or baseball. Come to think of it, she wasn't a good candidate for any kind of sport.

Huh, go figure.

Sarcastic comments and thoughts aside, Naruto really hoped that Ryuko didn't do anything too stupid so as to get in trouble and make herself, and by some association him, look bad.

AN: Okay, it is shorter, but it should keep you guys good and sated for the next chapter, which might not be coming out for a while.

As always, do as you do, not as I do, but you, shadaloopiedoobop!


End file.
